Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Last Time I Walked the Dogs

My kids dogs love to go on walks and I, guiltily, do not enjoy it.   I feel bad that I don't walk them more.  It is so easy to find an excuse...too cold, too hot, snow on road, raining or my knee is hurting.

(I have been having an issue w/ my left knee and it is starting to restrict my life.  I had xrays and exam and waiting for the results.)

Other day my knee felt somewhat ok and the weather conditions were agreeable so I took both dogs for a walk.  They have gotten alittle wild at walking because we are so rusty at it and they can pull, even w/ pinch collars.

We had walked about 0.5 miles when Bella, my older dog veered to the left which caused Farris to do the same on my other side.  That put Farris crossing in front of me and my feet.  As I tried to straighten both of them out my feet got tangled up in Farris legs.  Because I have a bum knee, my left leg could not move fast enough to regain my balance.

I rapidly fell/dropped to the ground in a tripod form...2 knees and top of head.  I'm glad it was on the grass vs the pavement inches away, I raised my head, I noticed a pile of dog poop.... w/ an indentation!  Yes, my head smashed into the dog shit!

At this point, my knee was aching and I had lost the little desire I had to dog walk.  Therefore, I had to walk home slowly w/ dog shit atop o' the head!

I haven't taken the dogs on a walk since.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Describe Your Lifestory in 6 Words

Please feel free to write the first comment..I am brand new here!

Oprah magazine had an article on describing your lifestory in 6 words.  (link below)  What words would you use?

* It was good, Now it's s-not!

*I am more than my disease!

*Sometimes it's good, Sometimes it's bad!


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

What I Am Doing Today...

(Well I can see this is a real stimulating post.  I'll see if I can salvage it.  I suppose most people would delete it.  What does that say about me?)

Hi There!

As I try to remember the above post topic that I haven't written yet, I'll share w/ you what I am doing on internet while I wait for memory:

*Clipart & Photos..Learning what it is, how to use it, copyrights, etc.

*Went to local convenience store which we call "party store".

*Goofin' around on email & facebook accounts.  I have two of each to add confusion, aid in blogging...A public account.

*In a chat room of a recovery

Still have not remembered the topic from earlier????

Much more to come...
Just drifting along in the big open area of the internet.

Had A Topic But Forgot It! My Dogs, Instead

I'm going to write on hand palm instead so I don't lose the note.
Damn, I had a decent topic idea for this post but I forgot it already (and I am sober...fuckin' memory...need to start writing things down on my hand, I lose paper notes).

I'll be back...Soon, I will remember it again...

Shitbeans, I never did remember the topic so will instead write about the rest of my nuclear family...My two dogs, Bella and Farris.

Both are rescue dogs from local animal shelters who came w/ the so common problem of separation anxiety.  Bella is 2.5 yr old female, retriever mix (looks/acts like a chessie) and Farris is a 1 yr old male, black lab/boxer mix.  They both have alot of personality.

We take turns being alpha dog/person.  Bella is smart, stubborn, loving and an effective escape artist.  I had a 5' chain link fence installed last spring and she found several ways to escape.  In the fall I figured out a way to Bella-proof it and for free vs some of the $$$ solutions I heard of.  Now, she has dug under once and that was a spot where it was easy so I will have to tweak it this spring....Sneaky fucker.

Farris is alittle mentally challenged in my opinion.  He doesn't respond to training unless I have treats.  (Maybe he is super smart).  He's a lap doggie even tho 70 lbs...Bella is 80 and stocky.  And I am STILL having potty issues w/ this little shit.  But at least he goes on the ceramic bathroom tile.

Both go crazy for like 5 mins. when a guest arrives or when I return home and they play rough.  I try to do the basic training and tips for these problems but they don't react/change like they are suppose too.  (Just like my daughter did while raising her....she didn't follow what the books said).  She is grown, living across the US in Los Angeles, Ca and still ignores me. 

Gotta go and let both my 4 legged monster children outside to play and poop!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Hi There! I'm Back!

Ok, after days of exploring, researching and sampling other blogs, I just officially published my first post and am writing my 2nd here.

  What did I find?  Many funny and educational blogs by women and some were from Australia and Canada, in addition to the USA.  I "learned" of Google+, made a new email account on gmail for public use, wordpress (what the hell is it-for tweeting/twitterin'?), Pinterest (that's fun), 2nd Facebook acct for A Mental Manic, visited some of the most popular blogs and more.  Also, I had most of these pages open on my computer at the same time...Like I can multitask well at this time in  my mental health...Well, I tried.

So, w/ Google+ I have people in circles but I don't know what that means.  It's not like I haven't accidently ran people  in circles before.  Pinterest, now that can be fun and inspiring.  It's like old school cutting/rippin' out pics from magazines (I did one page out of a library book before...once) and then pinning them onto a huge corkboard or piles shoved in drawers.

I had to open a few new accounts and make out profiles...What a drag.  What's the difference between username, name and another that I don't remember at the time. And then I kept losing my initial blog attempts, losing pages and other things.  I think I may of started going alittle hypomanic.

Not remembering is so my life right now...Between depression cycle of bi-polar, occasional alcohol abuse, age appropriate and ahhh...something else that I ahhh...don't remember right now, I have a hell of a time w/ memory.  And it drives me wild when I can not remember a word that I know damn well that I know.....Vocabularily challenged that I am (I like to make up words too).  Now part of that problem is because I have worked w/ primarily men for 15 yrs and Yes, they use fewer different words BUT do so.

Wordpress account I will save for later because I do not have a clue about tweeting.

Signing off for now but I will see you again soon!

Bloody keyboard guy link below:

Welcome! First Blog Entry

Me & my wine...Bad, bad...
  This is my first blog & first post, so of course, I kindly ask you to bear w/ me while I try to gear up my creative side.  Hell, who am I kidding, I gotta gear up......period.

For 4+ years, I have suffered w/ dual diagnosis or dual disorders or co-morbidity i.e., bi-polar II (hypomanic type & usually in depression), anxiety (GAD), alcohol abuse (occasionally self-medicating), maybe OCD and I think there is another but I forget at the moment.  That's a common symptom...CRS...(Can't Remember Shit).

Some personal history:  26 yrs ago I was diagnosed an alcoholic, after several rehabs I was able to stay sober for 22.5 yrs.  I was able to be quite productive, learn many skills/talents, uber independent, raised my daughter by myself for her whole life w/o even $0.01 in child support (she is 32), built a house myself, buy another, decent retirement accts, etc.

Then, in dec '07, I said "fuck it" and went to buy a bottle of wine.  My life has rapidly gone to  hell in a hand basket...make that wheelbarrow down a steep hill.

What happened? 

Well, I and my profession helpers believe my mental health issues started 3.5 yrs before I bought that first wine.  But the alcohol greatly accelerated my decline, my 180 degree flip, exacerbated (like that fancy word) my mentalness and I have lost nearly everything or so it seems.

*I gotta take a break already cause I feel nauseous from re-living what I wrote.