Monday, February 6, 2012

Welcome! First Blog Entry

Me & my wine...Bad, bad...
  This is my first blog & first post, so of course, I kindly ask you to bear w/ me while I try to gear up my creative side.  Hell, who am I kidding, I gotta gear up......period.

For 4+ years, I have suffered w/ dual diagnosis or dual disorders or co-morbidity i.e., bi-polar II (hypomanic type & usually in depression), anxiety (GAD), alcohol abuse (occasionally self-medicating), maybe OCD and I think there is another but I forget at the moment.  That's a common symptom...CRS...(Can't Remember Shit).

Some personal history:  26 yrs ago I was diagnosed an alcoholic, after several rehabs I was able to stay sober for 22.5 yrs.  I was able to be quite productive, learn many skills/talents, uber independent, raised my daughter by myself for her whole life w/o even $0.01 in child support (she is 32), built a house myself, buy another, decent retirement accts, etc.

Then, in dec '07, I said "fuck it" and went to buy a bottle of wine.  My life has rapidly gone to  hell in a hand basket...make that wheelbarrow down a steep hill.

What happened? 

Well, I and my profession helpers believe my mental health issues started 3.5 yrs before I bought that first wine.  But the alcohol greatly accelerated my decline, my 180 degree flip, exacerbated (like that fancy word) my mentalness and I have lost nearly everything or so it seems.

*I gotta take a break already cause I feel nauseous from re-living what I wrote.

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